I am a happily married, soon to be new mother woman. I have been married for a year and half. And I have to say, that I am so thankful that I am out of that new relationship drama!
What is it about relationships that by the time you reach around the 7th or 8th month of it, that both parties feel this insane need to cross lines they shouldnt? When you are dating someone, in the very beginning, you either jump in head first or you toe test the waters. I am not sure that there is an inbetween. And as an outside party to other peoples relationships with one another, I can see where the mishaps and mistakes occur. But beware...eventually, you will either do or say something that for the rest of your life you wish that you could take back.
It is not only mean spirited, but vinidictive to call your ex because things arent going to well in your current relationship, especially when that ex has exhibited pyscho female stalker like behavior. And then dont be surprised when your girlfriend finds out and not only is hurt but livid...you did it, you get to live with the consequences. Trust has to be earned...its not something that should be blindly handed out.
Secondly, watch your other relationships. Just because you dont see something as a threat, doesnt mean that your partner doesnt. You can be secure in your relationship and still not like things that take place between your significant other and someone else. Whether you are jealous or not...work with it.
I have to be the first to commit to my mistake...and I am sure its not the only one I have made, that this very moment stands out. Jeremy and I were really arguing...and I had just had a blood pregnancy test that came back negative. And I guess maybe there was some disappointment there, even though I didnt want to be pregnant. And he and I were just railing at eachother...I mean, white hot anger, yelling and slamming doors...who knows what started it. But I remember that he just kept pushing me and I kept pushing back until finally I lost it and I just yelled at him that I was damn lucky that I wasnt pregnant because I didnt want his baby anyways. And I just remember his face. I saw the intense hurt flash across his face seconds before he left the bedroom. He got his keys and he left. That was the very moment that to this day I wish that I could take back. I am sorry that I said that to him. I remember sitting on the bed feeling like I had been in a physical confrontation and wondering where he went. I crossed that line that I shouldn't of. And it turned out that I was pregnant that night. The test was wrong. And to this day, I am not even sure he has forgiven me for saying that to him. So, I find myself wondering if thats why he is so detached from everything or if its normal guy behavior. Hes not as interested in feeling Lucas kick, and the ultrasounds make him smile, but he doesnt want to show anyone.
Its a shame when I can give someone the relationship advice they need to fix their problems, but I am not even sure where to begin to fix mine. Of course, that happened in August. Jeremy may not even think about it anymore, but I do. What kind of wife will stand there and swear forever, and then just a little over a year later say that she doesnt even want to carry the man she loves child? A sorry one, thats who!
I havent had the guts to talk to him about it yet. Maybe I will tonight. Maybe I won't I apologized and we worked out then...maybe theres no need to drag up the past. Maybe its best to be forgotten.
I dont know...relationships are definitely complicated things...
3 comments:
Diane that was truly from the heart. It made me want to cry. I think you should talk to him about it. Not only for him, but for yourself too. He may have left it in the past. And if so, then you can start feeling better about the situation. If he hasn't, then it is defenetly something that the two of you need to talk about, resolve, and move on. And even if he he still holding on to it then you bringing it back up so long after means that you really are sorry and that you know it hurt his feelings. And it really does bother you that your husbands feels may be deeply hurt.
Marriage is really hard. But the good thing is that if you BOTH try to make it better and want to work at it, then it will last. Just love can not keep a marriage together. Especially if the love is only a one sided thing. But after all the hard work you get the feeling of love in your heart. It is true "It is better to love and feel the pain of love, then to have never felt love before."
Everything will work out fine.
Diane you and I have really been on the same mental channel lately. I've been pondering a few things myself. Darroll has clamed that I'm mouthy, hateful, sarcastic, and I only care about myself. I guess it's alot harder to see our own faults. Maybe my actions aren't showing how I really feel. I do love him and I thought I was showing it, but it's time to revaluate my actions and words. Because words can be so painful!
You guys are both right. Amber, you are right about what you said. Marriage is hard, but at the same time, its the best thing to have because its something you share together...
Lorelei...I am sure that Darroll said those things to you out of anger and or frustrations. I have learned that sometimes you need to evaluate what you are going to say. Even if you have to walk away for a time out. I dont think you are hateful person, and maybe you and Darroll should talk about what made him say those things to you. That way, you can work it out together.
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