I feel awful. Let me just start by saying that. Not physically. Spiritually, and mentally and emotionally. I can't talk about it either because I have no voice. So, it SUCKS.
I tried to do a good thing and take in this beautiful husky from my aunt who couldnt keep her. Her name is Rayne (like rain.) Shes beautiful, and Bjourne loved her. She was gentle with Lucas. But apparently, cats are the other white meat to her. She managed to climb under our bed while I was giving Lucas a bath. She went after Samantha, my 17 year old cat. They ran into the bathroom, and Rayne jumped on top of her and bit her neck. It scared Samantha so badly that she peed on the floor. Jeremy managed to yank Rayne off of Samantha, but she cut her lip extremely bad. Other than being terrified and extremely pissed off, she seemed fine. But I didnt see her this morning, so I am worried about her. I know it sounds silly. But I am worried about her. I feel terrible. I tried to do a good thing, and Samantha suffered for it. So, not only was Samantha in a catatonic state of shock, but Rayne cried all night from the kennel. And I cried because its heartbreaking. Rayne doesnt understand what she did wrong. Samantha doesnt understand what she did to deserve it. And Lucas was hysterical because Jeremy and I were in the thick of it. It was crazy.
So, right now, I am looking for some kind of spiritual enlightenment to tell me that this was not my fault, that samantha is okay, and I did all that I can do. Until that happens, I am going to feel terrible.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
I think sins not tragedies.
It's been a relatively rough week for me. Where should I start?
Lucas had to get shots on Tuesday, 4 to be exact. The last 2 nights he has woken up screaming. Not just crying. SCREAMING. At 2 am he was screaming so badly and was so inconsolable that I didnt know what to do. And of course, Jeremy was just as tired, so this led to bickering between us. Debbie says we need a date. I dont think hes interested in dating me. I have come to the conclusion that once you're married, it almost seems like they just quit trying. No more little notes of I love you found lying around. No surprise dates that include, but are not limited to, a good cup of hot chocolate with a sprinkle of cinnamon, and sitting at the beach, especially now that the Yorktown Beach is complete. I can tell you that this morning, I was ready to knock a knot on the top of Jeremy's head that would have been so big, he would have had to stand on his tip toes to scratch. I guess we will try to work it out. But things change when your life becomes nothing but babies, bills and housework. Not to mention his job may be in question. I think a contractor is bidding their jobs to see if they are cheaper then government, and if they are, they are required to offer Jeremy a job, but at what rate we wouldnt know. I think he is worried about that. So, that's the home front issue. I am tired. I am just tired. And the last straw after the hellish night, was my purse tumbled over in the car and all of my stuff spilled out, and I just went on ahead and cried.
Lucas is even refusing the carseat. You go to put him in it, and he archs his back and starts to cry. Then he stiffens his arms. I dont know why. So, I spend 5 minutes rassling him in the seat. Then he proceeds to stare angrily for 10 minutes. I love that little boy, but I hate when there is something wrong with him that cuddles and a breast wont fix. Its awful.
Now, lets move on to some funny stuff!
My father should have been a comedian. He says some of the silliest things! Last Friday, I stopped by to take him a cup of coffee. He was outside cleaning up after the hurricane. When I got there, he had this real disgusted look on his face. So, I asked him what was wrong. He proceeded to tell me that while trimming the bushes along the roadway, he must have disturbed some fire ants, and they managed to crawl up his pants leg and sting him all the way up. So, he was mad. He told me that "I have declared war on their asses! The toothy little bastards!" He told me that he had done the mexican hat dance, the egyptian slide and the hoochie-coochie roll and squaredance to get them out of his pants. So, he went into the house and got in the shower. Over the weekend, he was too busy inside the house to do anything about it, so on Tuesday, I talked to him, and he was gathering up his arsonal to take care of the ants. By the time I got there Tuesday evening to take him some coffee and just check on him, he was outside. He told me this: "You wanna know what I did? I went out there on my tractor, and I pulled up their home, which was that tree stump, and I took out back and I burned it. Then I went back up there and I dug them up, and ran them over with the tractor tires half a dozen times. Take that you gravy sucking, toothy little bastards! F*** with me again, and see what I do. Teach them to bite me. Next time, I am going out there with lighter fluid." It was so funny. I was laughing hysterically! It was hysterical. He is so funny. As far as he was concerned, those ants were causing hate and discontent in his yard. If you ask him about the ants, he will ask you "What Ants?" Because they no longer exist. He made sure they paid the piper for biting him. I still laugh about it, even now, as I am typing it. Hes so colorful...its a funny thing to witness. I wonder how much of this stuff Lucas will pick up from him and carry on. Hopefully, not the cusswords, though!
Lucas had to get shots on Tuesday, 4 to be exact. The last 2 nights he has woken up screaming. Not just crying. SCREAMING. At 2 am he was screaming so badly and was so inconsolable that I didnt know what to do. And of course, Jeremy was just as tired, so this led to bickering between us. Debbie says we need a date. I dont think hes interested in dating me. I have come to the conclusion that once you're married, it almost seems like they just quit trying. No more little notes of I love you found lying around. No surprise dates that include, but are not limited to, a good cup of hot chocolate with a sprinkle of cinnamon, and sitting at the beach, especially now that the Yorktown Beach is complete. I can tell you that this morning, I was ready to knock a knot on the top of Jeremy's head that would have been so big, he would have had to stand on his tip toes to scratch. I guess we will try to work it out. But things change when your life becomes nothing but babies, bills and housework. Not to mention his job may be in question. I think a contractor is bidding their jobs to see if they are cheaper then government, and if they are, they are required to offer Jeremy a job, but at what rate we wouldnt know. I think he is worried about that. So, that's the home front issue. I am tired. I am just tired. And the last straw after the hellish night, was my purse tumbled over in the car and all of my stuff spilled out, and I just went on ahead and cried.
Lucas is even refusing the carseat. You go to put him in it, and he archs his back and starts to cry. Then he stiffens his arms. I dont know why. So, I spend 5 minutes rassling him in the seat. Then he proceeds to stare angrily for 10 minutes. I love that little boy, but I hate when there is something wrong with him that cuddles and a breast wont fix. Its awful.
Now, lets move on to some funny stuff!
My father should have been a comedian. He says some of the silliest things! Last Friday, I stopped by to take him a cup of coffee. He was outside cleaning up after the hurricane. When I got there, he had this real disgusted look on his face. So, I asked him what was wrong. He proceeded to tell me that while trimming the bushes along the roadway, he must have disturbed some fire ants, and they managed to crawl up his pants leg and sting him all the way up. So, he was mad. He told me that "I have declared war on their asses! The toothy little bastards!" He told me that he had done the mexican hat dance, the egyptian slide and the hoochie-coochie roll and squaredance to get them out of his pants. So, he went into the house and got in the shower. Over the weekend, he was too busy inside the house to do anything about it, so on Tuesday, I talked to him, and he was gathering up his arsonal to take care of the ants. By the time I got there Tuesday evening to take him some coffee and just check on him, he was outside. He told me this: "You wanna know what I did? I went out there on my tractor, and I pulled up their home, which was that tree stump, and I took out back and I burned it. Then I went back up there and I dug them up, and ran them over with the tractor tires half a dozen times. Take that you gravy sucking, toothy little bastards! F*** with me again, and see what I do. Teach them to bite me. Next time, I am going out there with lighter fluid." It was so funny. I was laughing hysterically! It was hysterical. He is so funny. As far as he was concerned, those ants were causing hate and discontent in his yard. If you ask him about the ants, he will ask you "What Ants?" Because they no longer exist. He made sure they paid the piper for biting him. I still laugh about it, even now, as I am typing it. Hes so colorful...its a funny thing to witness. I wonder how much of this stuff Lucas will pick up from him and carry on. Hopefully, not the cusswords, though!
Monday, September 11, 2006
September 11, 2006
I have decided that this is going to be a somewhat serious blog given the date and the things that all American's should find themselves reflecting on throughout this day. On this day, 5 years ago, an attack that amounted to the 21st century Pearl Harbor took place on American soil. I am sure everyone knows about the planes that flew into the World Trade Center, aka the Twin towers and killed roughly 3,000 innocent people. And the horror and sadness of that day needs to be honored and remembered, even now, even 500 years from now. And for all of those people that do not support this war, my opinion, and this is just my opinion, we did what we had to do. Under no circumstances would this nation have say by and allowed terrorists to horrifically kill thousands of people and take no action. As far as I am concerned, it says in the bible: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a life for a life. And there will be war and there will be rumors of war. It is what it is. We are ONE nation under GOD. So, this is my moment to respect and remember those who lost their lives this fateful day five years ago. And this is my time to say that I support our troops.
Well, things seem to be going good on the homefront. Jeremy and I have been getting along really well lately, and its kind of scary! We never have this much fun without something making it sour. But not lately. Here lately, we have just been hanging out and having fun. Its awesome.
And Lucas is just growing up so fast. I never tire of watching him develop. Its like Christmas morning everyday. Because everyday, I am going to get see him grow and see what new things he learns and what new things he discovers. Its so awesome to witness that. And will have more babies. I want lots of babies. I have a new appreciation for children. This is the hardest job yet, but its the most rewarding!
I visited with a lady that I used to babysit for and ride horses for. When I was a poor little kid, I wandered down that dirt road into the horse community. And her horses were the only ones out to pasture. She had 2 at the time. An Arabian/Sheltie mix she named Seeing Stars, aka Star and a full blown, flea bitten, beautiful grey Arabian named Kristel Bey. And she invited me into the gate to see them up close. And a friendship developed and I started riding and cleaning and babysitting for her. And I lost touch with her, but now that I have moved closer to her, I started taking Lucas down there. So, I get to ride again on Saturday for the first time in over 6 years. I am a little nervous. But at the same time, I miss that freedom. I miss it all. And now, I may get the chance to get to just enjoy it now. So, look forward to the post after that one!
Well, things seem to be going good on the homefront. Jeremy and I have been getting along really well lately, and its kind of scary! We never have this much fun without something making it sour. But not lately. Here lately, we have just been hanging out and having fun. Its awesome.
And Lucas is just growing up so fast. I never tire of watching him develop. Its like Christmas morning everyday. Because everyday, I am going to get see him grow and see what new things he learns and what new things he discovers. Its so awesome to witness that. And will have more babies. I want lots of babies. I have a new appreciation for children. This is the hardest job yet, but its the most rewarding!
I visited with a lady that I used to babysit for and ride horses for. When I was a poor little kid, I wandered down that dirt road into the horse community. And her horses were the only ones out to pasture. She had 2 at the time. An Arabian/Sheltie mix she named Seeing Stars, aka Star and a full blown, flea bitten, beautiful grey Arabian named Kristel Bey. And she invited me into the gate to see them up close. And a friendship developed and I started riding and cleaning and babysitting for her. And I lost touch with her, but now that I have moved closer to her, I started taking Lucas down there. So, I get to ride again on Saturday for the first time in over 6 years. I am a little nervous. But at the same time, I miss that freedom. I miss it all. And now, I may get the chance to get to just enjoy it now. So, look forward to the post after that one!
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Ernesto was the worse affair I have ever Had!
That sorry son of a bitch! The week I decide to go to Corolla, Ernesto decides to swoop in and ruin everything. Typical male. But I did get some awesome pictures of the beach before he hit and after he hit. However, I have lost everything in my refrigerator and freezer and my power still isnt back on. It sucks! I dont think I will ever have power again.
The vacation was fun. I think I needed it to rejuvenate. I loved getting to spend a week with Lucas. Sunday and Monday were beach days. On Tuesday, we made the God-Awful mistake of going to the Ocracoke Lighthouse. We had to drive all the way from Duck, route 12 to Hatteras Island and get on a 40 minute ferry ride to get to Ocracoke Island. In the meantime, I look down and the temperature on the truck was hot. Needless to say, we drove the rest of the way with the heat on full blast. All of the torture for a 4x4 parking lot and a 3 second glance at a lighthouse that I didnt even enjoy because Jeremy and my truck ruined it for me. He was upset about the truck and he didnt want to go anyways, and then everything just went to hell in a hand basket and left me wishing we had never gone. It turns out the thermostat was bad on the truck. Jeremy changed it and she runs like a dream again. But that trip will definitely go down as a waste of a beautiful beach day. The rest of the week we spent shopping because of the weather.
Things suck right now anyways because we have already been gone a week and now we have no power. This is the 2nd night at my parents. Jeremy is stressing and Lucas is sick. I just want to do my vacation all over again without the entrance of Ernesto.
Oh, and Lorelei and Amber, I cant post comments to your blog until you update to beta blogger. So, I am glad you enjoyed the lake Lorelei, and Amber, I remember back to school days well!
The vacation was fun. I think I needed it to rejuvenate. I loved getting to spend a week with Lucas. Sunday and Monday were beach days. On Tuesday, we made the God-Awful mistake of going to the Ocracoke Lighthouse. We had to drive all the way from Duck, route 12 to Hatteras Island and get on a 40 minute ferry ride to get to Ocracoke Island. In the meantime, I look down and the temperature on the truck was hot. Needless to say, we drove the rest of the way with the heat on full blast. All of the torture for a 4x4 parking lot and a 3 second glance at a lighthouse that I didnt even enjoy because Jeremy and my truck ruined it for me. He was upset about the truck and he didnt want to go anyways, and then everything just went to hell in a hand basket and left me wishing we had never gone. It turns out the thermostat was bad on the truck. Jeremy changed it and she runs like a dream again. But that trip will definitely go down as a waste of a beautiful beach day. The rest of the week we spent shopping because of the weather.
Things suck right now anyways because we have already been gone a week and now we have no power. This is the 2nd night at my parents. Jeremy is stressing and Lucas is sick. I just want to do my vacation all over again without the entrance of Ernesto.
Oh, and Lorelei and Amber, I cant post comments to your blog until you update to beta blogger. So, I am glad you enjoyed the lake Lorelei, and Amber, I remember back to school days well!
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