What in the hell is going on around here? I was sick last week, and this week, my sinuses decide to act up. Thats 2 weeks of crappy feelings and I am sick of being sick!
Work absolutely sucks. The attitudes from some people stink. And I can't even pump without 50 interruptions. And for the most part, I dont mind. There are only three people that respect my privacy. 2 K's and an A. Everyone else, just knocks and barges in. No matter that my breast is exposed. And if thats not bad enough, they dont even bother to shut the door all the way. I dont know what to do about it. If I pump in the conference room, I still wont get any peace. For the most part, I am covered, but its still awkward when you have an 80 something year old man standing in the office. I just had to vent about that.
Lucas is good. Ask him and he will tell you. Did I ever tell you how hard it is to be a parent? Oh, I didn't? Let me tell you now: Parenting is hard. I have discovered that things that I used to be able to do in record time, now take me twice as long. Number 1 because I want to be playing with Lucas. Number 2 I am just so tired anymore. And its ridiculous. Lucas has slept through the night since I brought him home from the hospital. I can nurse him anywhere from 10 to 11 at night, he will sleep until 8 if I let him. But I just have no energy. Its like, I sit down to nurse him, and he sucks the life right out me. Its insane. He laughs now. He thinks everything is funny. He sits in his bouncer seat and goes "heeeh-heeeh" its so cute. And if you go "A-BOO" to him, he gets that real deep belly laugh. Its great. He plays with his feet too. But he has this terrible habit of pinching. I told you my sinuses were acting up, so my face was a little swollen the other night, I swear there was a leperachaun in there beating me with his sheleily stick. And Lucas reaches up and pinches the snot out of my face. And not only did it hurt, but because I didnt feel well, it almost catapaulted me into heart attack country. I had to give him to Jeremy. I just wasnt up for being a Mama that night. And thats the other thing. Jeremy does most of the stuff now while I tend to the baby. I feel guilty. Although I know I shouldnt. I drop Lucas off at the designated baby sitter and pick him up during the week. I do the grocery shopping. I take care of him when we are home. So what if he cooks and does the dishes? I sit at work and think about all of the things I need to get done at home. I think about all that I need to get done at work when I am home. Its insane. I worry that Lucas isnt getting enough tummy time. He hasnt rolled over yet. I guess all of these anxieties will eventually fade. Right?
1 comment:
No, we will always have something to stress about. There will always be something about our kids that has us worried. Furthermore, there will always be times where we just want to beat those little monsters, but then they'll do something so cute we can't help but laugh. Are you picking up on the cycle? It's never ending! :)
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