Is it all in the stars, already decided?

Sometimes, I wonder if things go around by chance or just one way that was always meant to be.

I used to like to read horoscopes. I was into the astrology. Not that I lived my life by every printed word, but it was just fun. And I used to research it a little. So, I pretty much know the signs and the personalities associated with it. Jeremy is definitely a Leo. He is definitely a fiery sign. He has the "sunny side up" attitude. Hes generous and very broadminded, even if he is a bit dogmatic. And he likes to be the boss if you want him to be organized. I, on the other hand, am an air sign...I am way too content to sail the opposite way of the crowd. What you think tomorrow, I thought of today! I do have the bad traits...the darkside...I am very unpredictable, I can be chaotic or calm, stubborn or flexible, rebellious or helpful depending on how I feel and what my own senses tell me. This is a sign which can in extremes be totally dedicated to being unconventional, being wired the other way round.This is a sign which can become detached to the point of coldness, stuck in a rigid and unrecognisable pattern. Aquarius has no care for what the world thinks and logically pursues their own set of social values. The isolation this brings is often a surprise, despite the super reliance on other senses, they can miss the obvious. This is so me. I can become detached to the point of coldness and it makes my husband crazy. Then there is Lucas, little baby Lucas, who is a Taurus. He is the definite earth sign of this bunch. He keeps me and Jeremy grounded. I picture that if the Earth ever came to an end, it would be the Taurus that was prepared for it. They would calmly handle it while the rest of us freaked out. Thats Lucas. He is the calm in the middle of our storm: in the rush of conversations between Jeremy and I, the need to pack the diaper bag, lunches, the laptop, cellphone, unplugging the flat iron and curling iron, the dogs meltdowns, my exuberance and meltdowns...there is Lucas, calmly growing in the middle of it. Learning to roll over, learning to push himself up on his hands and knees, looking around at everything. Moving his butt forward as if any second he might just rocket propell across the quilt. With his persistant nature, resistance to change, and love of security, I guess it should come as no surprise that sleep training isn't going so well. Sleep. What is this sleep thing people speak of? I wage wars in my own brain on a daily basis...move him all the way to the other end of the house, and not sleep because I worry the ceiling could crash in and smash my beautiful baby boy, leave him in our room in the bassinet until he goes to college...put him to bed...let him cry it out? Co-sleep? Is there no easy answer? Whatever you choose, you can always find scientific research to reassure you that any other method will screw your baby up for life. My opinion is that different children need different approaches, but this doesnt exactly help when I cant figure out the right approach to my own baby's sleep issues. Wouldnt it just be great to open up the paper and read in his horoscope "Please sleep tonight, all will be well in the morning." But we all know, we cant and shouldnt pigeonhole our kids...hes not on a Taurusean path...hes growing on his accord and taking his own route. Hes not going to excel in a cookie cutter world, and I would be a bad mother to let him think that. He needs to color outside of the lines to grow...and I need to grow with him...in the meantime learning that there is no simple answer to all of the problems this world has. And as a parent, you do what you can for your kids, regardless of what the circumstances leave you with. But at the end of the day, can you live with those consequences? Face the decisions you made and tell yourself that you made the right one? Or will you look back with regret? And wish you had paid more attention to what was in the stars?