Has it really been over a week?

Wow. Has it really been a week since I last posted? I feel like its been forever. And I am ashamed at my lack of enthusiasm to blog period. Things have been so crazy and complicated above all else. I am 3 days away from maternity leave, and it feels like 3 years. Everyday I get more tired and more aggarvated with everything. I mean everything it doesnt matter what it is: the swiffer mop, not being able to open my mixed hersheys egg, the loss of the mirror on my truck...its all the same...I end up ticked over it!

We are still working with Maverick to housetrain him, and its really not working as well as I hoped it would. Moms frustrated, Dads frustrated, and Maverick doesnt understand what hes doing wrong. I wait outside with him, hoping the potty muse will inspire Mavericks first real masterpiece, but these things cant be rushed you know. I am even making up potty songs for this puppy. Sometimes, I feel like Obi-Wan Kenobi...somewhat invisible because his head is buried in a leaf pile or in the grass, but still a powerful mentor...Just use the force, Maverick. And I find myself wondering: is this what it will be like with Lucas? Sitting in the bathroom with him and hoping for the best? Singing potty songs and making small talk? Or will I be one of those parents with the screaming toddler in the bathroom, swearing they didnt have to go, but they had already gone in their pants? Its a little disturbing. At this point, I guess I should concentrate on labor and delivery, huh?

I am in the home stretch of my pregnancy, and after moaning about my aching very pregnant body, I keep getting the same advice from everyone: "Take it easy." Telling a soon to be new mother to take it easy when she has a house and other responsibilities is like telling a fish to come up and breathe air, it just goes against the laws of nature. And at my last OB appointment, the doctor really made me feel bad about not taking a childbirth class. She said real snobby like; "Well, too bad you couldnt find the effort to go to a childbirth class, that might have been helpful." And I am like, Well, tell that to the indians that squatted in the dirt and had babies! So, I am wondering what tomorrows doctor's appointment will hold. Last thursday, my cervix was still long and closed, which means, nowhere near labor, let alone delivery. Can I get some dialation, here?? I am just done. Take Sunday for example: I was walking up the cobblestone walkway to the house and BAM, I stepped funny and almost fell, well, in the scramble, I dropped my purse and everything was flung out of it, and the bag of candy I had scattered across the lawn. Instead of being an adult about the whole thing, I just bent over to pick things up, and the dam busted. Tears were pouring out of my eyes, and I was sobbing, and Jeremy was trying to pick things up and I was pushing him away tell him to go away, I could do it myself. I went in the house and got in the shower, and I cried there. After a little bit, Jeremy came in the shower and all I could do was cry on his chest, and tell him I was tired. And he knew it. And he kept telling me I needed to rest more and stop being so stubborn. But its not about stubborn. It doesnt have anything to do with that. I know I just need to hold on a little bit longer. There are still so many questions and concerns that need to be addressed, but I guess theres still time.

I have some things I need to do here at work, I am tying up loose ends, and I hope everyone in the office is awesome to Debbie, because shes an awesome woman, with a great personality and shes feeling a little down and nervous this week...Amber...keep an eye out for her...she really is a good person!